Coping with Colic

Our friends often joke that, for the first year of her life, whenever they saw Lily she was crying - and it’s true, for most of that first year, she looked a lot like this.

Meet my colicky baby, Lily. Lily is my second born. I gave her a beautiful, serene, peaceful birth at home and expected she would repay the favour with a similarly serene fourth trimester. Guess what? Doesn't work that way.

Leading into Lily's birth, the possibility of colic wasn’t something that crossed our minds. We had dealt with the typical infant grievances with our first (The Period of Purple Crying; gassiness; making strange) but those issues had resolved when/as to be expected. We, naively, thought our experience with our second baby would be relatively similar to that of our first. Was it? Nope. I still remember the morning she woke up, our two week honeymoon apparently over, and started crying. Little did I know that, due to a combination of colic and infant reflux, it would be months before she stopped.

Before diving into your colic game plan, I want to clear up a few things:

1 - Colic is not a condition that is medically diagnosed. So, you probably won’t take your baby to a doctor and have your experience validated with a “colic” diagnosis (even though, trust me, that’s really what you need at that moment - someone to validate that your experience is significantly harder than dealing with a non-colicky baby). The exception to this rule is if you have an old school doctor. Thinking your baby might have colic? Well, they just might if:

They suffer from prolonged periods of excessive crying over the course of several weeks/months.

2- Colic and something called infant reflux, or gastroesophageal reflux (“GER”) often go hand-in-hand. While colic might be difficult to diagnose, reflux is easier. Some things you might notice with a baby suffering from reflux:

A sequence of wet burps/hiccups followed by a noticeable swallow

Frequent spitting up

Arching their back after a feed

Excessive crying

Coughing/wheezy sound after feeds

Pulling away during feeds/difficulty feeding

Every reflux mom remembers their baby’s first projectile vomit. This was Lily’s! Little did we know, there would be many, many more of these down the road (we definitely got smarter about it though!).

*There is such thing as a “happy spitter” or, more commonly referred to as silent reflux. Meaning: you have a baby that spits up a lot, and frequently, but is otherwise happy.

I was surprised to find that, although it’s been some four and a half years, I still find it very difficult to revisit this time in my life. I thought I would sit down and bang out a workable list of things you could do to help alleviate your baby’s colic or reflux symptoms. I started and stopped writing. For weeks It felt impossible for me to simply create a practical, unemotional list of how to cope with colic. This subject for me, it turns out, is much more emotional than practical - which is actually great because it makes for an amazing segway into my first point…

#1. Take Care of YOU First

You know how when you’re sitting in an airplane and it’s taxiing to the runway and the flight attendants are going through their safety instructions? They say something along the lines of “in the event of an emergency, if you’re traveling with someone who requires assistance, put your oxygen mask on FIRST and then help your companion.” Let’s make this a central theme, not just in relation to a colicky baby but, in our motherhood journey as a whole. Having a baby is all-consuming. Having a colicky baby? Next level, all-consuming. Listening to a baby cry for hours and hours a day for months? That can break your freakin’ soul if you aren’t careful. Be careful. Even if you think you’re hanging in there, you might learn later that the only thing you were actually doing was repressing your feelings in order to simply survive the experience. If you’re in the midst of dealing with infant colic, or even if it’s something you’ve dealt with in the past, there are professionals who can help you sift through your feelings. I highly recommend seeking out a postpartum therapist, counselor or psychologist. Schedule an evening appointment so you can go alone, bring your baby to your appointment, or find a virtual therapist who can counsel you over the phone.

Furthermore, mama, as much as we feel the weight of our baby only wanting us - you need to pass that baby off whenever the opportunity presents itself. I will never forget one afternoon where we had met my sister, mom and aunt at the park. Lily had been having a particularly bad day and not even the fresh air could pacify her. My frustration level was peaking and was boiling over towards anger. Despite my mom, aunt, and husband all witnessing the same thing, it was my childless sister who had the know-how (and maybe the bravery) to pluck Lily from my arms and leave my general vicinity. In that moment, I had to let go of the guilt that this was only going to add to Lily’s despair because, ultimately, it was me (and only me) she wanted. But I had tried all I could try and it was in my best interest to let her be unhappy with someone else. If someone you trust, makes the bold move to help - let them. To use another common analogy: put your life vest on FIRST.

#2. Cover Your Bases

Ensure your baby’s colic isn’t being caused by an underlying medical issue. Visit your doctor. If you aren’t satisfied with your GP’s assessment, and if you feel like there is something more going on, tell your doctor you would like a referral to a pediatrician (notice how I said “tell” not “ask”?).

#3. Gripe Water

My parents were quick to suggest gripe water. Apparently they used it with my younger brother (who was also a colicky baby) and it “helped” so of course I flew out to the drugstore as quickly as I could to get my own bottle of colic quasher. Gripe water is a blend of several ingredients (usually sodium bicarbonate and a mixture of herbs like clove, dill, peppermint, licorice, chamomile, ginger, fennel) that are said to help with gas and tummy discomfort. Does it work? I’ll never know. My colicky baby never swallowed it, once. And finally after a couple of failed attempts, I tried it to see what the fuss was all about and lemme just say, I don’t blame her. I’d rather cry all day long than drink that stuff too. The good news is that a lot of parents do feel like gripe water has worked for their infants. Plus, it’s relatively inexpensive so you won’t feel bad tossing it in the garbage if it doesn’t end up being the solution for you. Some things to keep in mind when you’re choosing which brand of gripe water to give your baby:

• There are two versions: alcohol free and…. well, ones that aren’t. Do some research and choose the kind that works best for you.

• Choose a formulation that’s as clean as possible: organic ingredients, no artificial colours or preservatives.

#4. Probiotics

Probiotics were basically my gateway into homeopathic supplements so proceed with caution (!). Essentially, probiotics are “good” bacteria because they are said to aid with GI system regulation. Probiotics are sold in three forms: capsules, powder, liquid. You will want liquid (drops) for your baby. Word of the wise, the cheapest place to source infant probiotics is Costco. It’s sold over the counter in the pharmacy. Some things to keep in mind if you decide to start giving your baby probiotics:

• Probiotics are a relatively new phenomenon. This means there is not a lot of research to corroborate it’s effectiveness or safety (although probiotics are considered to be safe) and doctors have mixed opinions about effectiveness. There are still a growing number of studies that report a decrease in colic in babies who have been given probiotics.

• Probiotics aren’t an instant fix. It takes around 2 weeks before you see any effects (if you do at all).

• Your baby might experience a period of increased fussiness/gassiness upon initial implementation. This is are considered normal and should reside after a couple of days. If it doesn’t, probiotics may not be the solution for your child.

• Probiotics can be expensive. See above for where to purchase in order to get the best bang for your buck.

#5. Wear Your Baby

Wearing your colicky baby is helpful for a number of reasons:

• A colicky baby is likely not soothed anywhere but in someone's arms (and really, if we’re being real here, it’s probably only Mom’s arms that do the trick) . Babywearing makes that constant need to be held a little more manageable - for both of you.

• Positioning. Babywearing means your baby is upright with their chest and tummy secured to your body. That pressure against their abdomen can provide some relief to their discomfort. Many colicky babies prefer an upright position (as opposed to lying down). If this is true of your colicky baby, they might also be suffering from some degree of acid reflux.

• It’s a great way to lull your non-sleeper to… you guessed it - sleep.

#6. Chiropractor

I’ve mentioned that I’m a big chiropractor fan. Chiropractors are pretty confident in their abilities to help infants with colic. Infant adjustments are extremely gentle. There is no cracking - you likely wouldn’t even know anything was happening - but there’s a good chance you’ll be pleasantly surprised with the results. How can it help? Chiropractic care addresses issues in the central nervous system and spine. A misalignment (which is thought to be a possible side effect from birth) restricts the nervous system from working properly which can have a negative effect on your baby’s digestive system. A study published in the Journal of Manipulative and Physiological Therapeutics found a 67% decrease in babies who received chiropractic care to treat colic. It’s not a sure-fire solution. Everytime I took my colicky baby to the chiropractor she was noticeably calmer for the rest of the day and even into the evening but the crying always returned a day or two later. Honestly, though, it was 100% worth it for that day, or two, of calm.

#7. Craniosacral Therapy

I know what you’re thinking - craniosacral, what? I’ve been there. I’ve had that thought. But like you, I was desperate to try anything. Similar to the technique a chiropractor would use on an infant, craniosacral therapy uses gentle touch to manipulate the joints in the skull, parts of the pelvis and spine. Like chiropractic care, craniosacral therapy lists infant colic as an ailment they treat often - and successfully.

#8. Bowen Therapy

Bowen Therapy is a gentle, hands-on treatment that helps to release any tension in the connective tissue. Bowen Therapy typically focuses on releasing any tension or spasm in the hard-working, yet underdeveloped, diaphragm in order for it to start functioning optimally. I don’t have any personal experience with Bowen Therapy - there wasn’t a provider in my area when I was dealing with my colicky baby - but if I ever found myself in that position again (no, this is not a subtle pregnancy announcement), Bowen Therapy would be my first course of action.

#9. Visit a Naturopath

If your doctor’s office visit didn’t satisfy your quest to address and remedy your infant’s colic or reflux, a naturopathic doctor is an amazing alternative resource. Actually, I think I would recommend visiting one before visiting a GP. The naturopathic model of care is holisitic in nature. It looks at all factors that might contribute to the problem - not simply focusing only on the issue at hand. They have many natural, workable solutions for treating all sorts of ailments and infant reflux and colic is among them! There are so many amazing, supportive naturopaths out there - put out feelers to other moms in your area and see who they recommend. I trusted the support I received from my naturopath so much during Lily’s reflux that I saw her during my pregnancy with Madden to see if there were any things I could do now, during pregnancy, to hopefully keep colic at bay (I’ll save that for another post!).

#10. Put a Plug In It

I’m not talking about your baby, I’m talking about you or - specifically - your ears. Like I said before, listening to constant crying can really wear even the toughest of mamas down. You don’t have to actively listen to it, though. Put in a pair of earphones, turn on a podcast or some music and give yourself permission to drown out the crying, if just for a little while. You can still tend to your baby’s needs without having to listen to the crying.

#11. Be Strategic

We’ve talked a lot about things you can try using external sources to try and cope with your baby’s colic - but what are some things you can implement now, at home, on your own?

Short Feeds, Frequently

Remove the idea of getting your colicky baby nice and full with a long feed. Feeding your colicky baby is going to look a little differently. We want short feeds, more frequently in order to prevent baby from getting too full which can aggravate tummy or reflux troubles.

Burp, Burp, Burp

Like, you know how we’re taught to burp baby after a feed? You’re going to be a burp master by the end of this. Burp your baby at least once during a feed and then try to burp them twice once you’ve finished feeding (so get one burp out of them, wait a minute and then go for number two…. and then, just to make sure you’re covering all your bases, go for lucky number three).

Upright is Right

Keep your baby upright as much as possible but especially for the first 30 minutes following a feed. Brace yourself for this next one because it’s going to hurt: yes, even for those middle of the night feeds.

Diaper Change Tango

Change your baby’s diaper first and then feed them to prevent having to lay baby flat on their back following a feed. There is also a video out there on YouTube demonstrating the “right” way to change a colicky baby that involves having them lay on their side rather than flat on their back. If you’re game for that, might be worth a search.

For a reflux baby, tummy pressure is comfort. This was always the position that Lily felt most comfortable in and she could never resist a visit from old Mr. Sandman (don’t worry, we were always close watching - as you should be whenever you leave baby on their tummy).

Tummy Time

If baby is awake and you’re desperate to put them down for a few minutes, put them down on their tummy. Like I mentioned before, the pressure on their tummy is typically soothing and you’re likely to find your baby is much happier in this position than lying on their back.

#12. Suggestions for Nursing and Formula Feeding Moms

Nursing Mamas

The jury is still out on whether a nursing mom’s diet can affect her baby’s digestive issues but, anecdotally, some women have reported an improvement in their baby’s colic or reflux by removing certain food groups from their diet. Dairy seems to be a common culprit and, I myself, can attest to noticing an improvement in my baby’s colic after removing dairy (all sources) from my diet. If this is the route you want to go, it’s important to remember that there is no sliding scale when it comes to dairy elimination. It’s all or nothing, my friends. Also, it takes up to two weeks for the last traces of dairy to leave your body so don’t expect to see noticeable results in your baby until after that point.

Formula Feeding Mamas

The suggestions formula feeding mamas often receive is to play around with the brand/type of formula their baby is receiving. It could just be as simple as formula incompatibility. Try formula brands that are soy free and dairy free to see if you notice any difference. Play around with the type of nipple you’re feeding your baby with - maybe it’s a simple case of baby getting too much air while feeding which is aggravating tummy troubles. Sometimes doctors suggest moms “thicken up” their baby’s bottle with rice cereal. The train of thought behind this being that if the formula is thicker, it will be heavier and less likely to come up their esophagus. That isn’t a strategy I would implement without the guidance of a doctor and, to be honest, I would seriously question any suggestion to give a baby under the age of 6 months, anything other than formula/breastmilk. If that’s a solution proposed to you, please do your due diligence and read evidence-based, current material (ie. not something that was written in 1987) before making a decision.

#13. Homeopathic Remedies

If you’re dealing with a colicky baby, the chances are pretty good that you’ve found yourself meandering the homeopathic section of your local drugstore or grocery store, wondering what these pretty little packages were all about and, more importantly, could it be that easy? Could they actually work? This is another one of those highly anecdotal solutions. Some parents swear the homeopathic anti-colic remedy worked wonders for their baby. Others maintain they’re nothing more than an overpriced, marketing ploy to get desperate parents to hand over their hard earned cash. From my own personal experience, there is one that I tried which I found to be somewhat, a little, maybe, kind of, effective: Boiron’s Cocyntal for Baby Colic.

The argument against homeopathic remedies is that it’s an unregulated industry. Meaning there are no standardized testing required in order to prove effectiveness or any government-met safety tests (although being that they use natural, non-medical ingredients they are generally considered safe).

#14. Prescription Meds

While this is only an option for a baby who has been diagnosed with reflux, you should know that there are prescription medications on the market to help with infant reflux. Some doctors are hesitant to prescribe reflux meds to a baby because they feel that, as long as baby is gaining weight, reflux is a “normal” part of a digestive system that is developing. You and I both know, though, what you’re dealing with is not normal. With that in mind, if you feel like you’ve exhausted all other options and nothing is helping and it’s clear that your baby is truly miserable, anti-reflux meds might be your next step. If this is where you’re at, know that you might need to strongly advocate for your baby in order to get that prescription. Go into your doctor’s appointment armed with all of evidence that your baby is suffering from reflux, all of the things you have tried (and you and I both know, it’s ALL the things), and what your expectation (medication) is for the next course of action.

It’s important to mention that, as with any prescription medication, there is the possibility of side effects which vary depending on which medication you are prescribed. As always, please research prescribed medication before giving your baby their first dose.

Just the Way the Cookie Crumbles

There you have it - a practical, working list of things you can try to help alleviate your baby’s colic or reflux symptoms. Whether you find success with them remains to be seen but if you’re anything like me, you might feel better at least trying something rather than doing nothing at all. With that being said, you should also hear that doing nothing at all is a perfectly acceptable option for dealing with infant colic and reflux. These conditions are something babies will eventually grow out of (although when that might be differs from baby to baby). Also important to stress? This is, in no way, something you “did,” “caused,” or “brought on” to your baby. This is just one of those ways in which the cookie crumbles. You will make it to the other side of colic and your bond with your baby will be stronger because of it! Maybe one day I’ll revisit this topic and explore the emotional side of being the primary caregiver for an infant with colic and reflux… but, for now, if you have any questions or comments relating to this post, be sure to leave them in the comment section below.

Disclaimer

The information in this post is purely based on my own experience with infant colic and reflux and should not be taken as medical advice. This post does not aim to diagnose, treat or provide medical advice. It contains only general information based on the writer’s personal experience. As always, you are recommended to seek the guidance of a licensed medical practitioner. Seek immediate medical assistance if you believe your child has a severe or life-threatening ailment.

Easy Ways for Partners to Support a New Mom

So often partners feel like there's "not much" they can do to help with a new baby because they can't breastfeed.  It’s true: feeding a baby takes up a good chunk of the day.  But that doesn’t mean that Dad is rendered obsolete!  It just means that finding other ways to help out and support the new mom in your life is even more important.

Diaper Changes

You don’t need boobs to change a diaper!  Every time we welcomed new baby, I didn't change a diaper for at least the first 7 days.  With our Big Guy, it was definitely a solid 14 days.  I didn't even know how to change a diaper until Derek went back to work!  For those of you who are wondering if that counts middle of the night changes – yes.  Derek took the first two weeks off so he wasn’t worried about too much about productivity the next day but I can see how this would be difficult in situations where dad was returning to work right away and, if that’s the case, when Dada is home let him take over diapers.

Checkin’ In

Postpartum is a wild ride.  Every few days, ask her how she's feeling.  How is she recovering, physically, from birth?  How are her boobs feeling now that her milk has come in?  How does she feel like she's coping, emotionally, with these changes?  How does she feel like she's doing, mentally, now that sleep deprivation is at play?  Be conscientious to the fact that her hormones are going crazy.  Don't assume that she's fine because she's putting on a brave face.

Hold That Baby!

There's no better time for baby to be in your arms than when they aren't being fed.  Don't wait for her to ask and don’t phrase it in a question (like “do you want me to hold the baby?”).  TELL her that now that she’s done feeding, you would like to hold the baby.  Whether she realizes it or not, her arms and shoulders need a break.

Keep Her Fed

Breastfeeding or bottle-feeding, a gal needs to eat. If she is breastfeeding, she’ll be extra, extra hungry.  Put food in front of her, often.  Make her coffee or tea.  Keep her waterbottle filled.  I'd suggest a good balance of comfort food, treats and healthy options but that's just me and treats are definitely the way to my heart. You know what she likes.  Keep in mind that, more often than not, she’ll have her arms full with baby so food that is easy to manage with one hand are ideal.  If you’re at a loss here are some good options:

• Oatmeal

• Tea/Coffee

• Eggs and toast

• Soups

• Smoothies

• Avocado (just slather that shizz on everything: chips, crackers, toast)

• Muffins (if you used a certain doula for your birth *heyo,* you’ll probably get a special delivery to your door)

• Fresh fruit/vegetables cut up

• Cadbury mini eggs (just being real here)

Rub-A-Dub-Dub

Bath time is a no pressure way to have fun with a baby.  They love the warm water and it, usually, has an amazing calming effect on them.  Plus, seeing them use their little limbs to kick and splash in delight is nothing short of adorable. You can even jump in the bath with baby. Yeah, they’re slippery when wet but I’m fairly confident, without even knowing you, that you won’t drop them. If doesn’t sound like a great baby job to be responsible for, I don’t know what is!

Wakey-Wakey

Can I level with you for a minute?  The first few nights as a brand new, first-time mom can be a real shock to the system.  There are all these foreign things to figure out; some that can actually be quite challenging (hello, breastfeeding!).  Sitting there alone, while the whole world is sleeping and you’re struggling to get baby to latch correctly can feel overwhelming, isolating and lonely. Don’t let her work her way through those first few nights alone.  Be present in that moment with her – and not just as a warm snoring body!

It’s Your Baby Too!

She's learning all about breastfeeding and/or bottle feeding.  Don't let it be something she needs to learn by herself.  Actively listen when your midwife/nurse is showing her how to do it. Be inquisitive. Ask questions. This way, if there comes a time where she’s frustrated or questioning whether she’s doing it right, you can offer an informed answer and actually help her!  Talk about a way to earn major clout.  Read the manual on the breastpump or Baby Brezza so that you can help her figure it out.  Master putting a bottle together.  Make cleaning the bottles or parts of the breast pump your contribution to the process.  She will thank you for it – trust me!

Lavish Praise

There comes a point in every new mom’s life where they are convinced they’re doing “it” wrong.  Your job is to be her cheer-cheer-cheerleader to quash that niggly voice of doubt.  Acknowledge everything she's doing and how AMAZING she is as a mom.  Gush to everyone you talk to about how she was a TOTAL badass in the birthing room. Could you have picked a better woman to be the mother of your child? No? Say it loud and proud!  Thank her for bringing your baby into the world - it was no easy feat.  Lay it on thick!

Now, on your end, ladies, if you have a new dad in your life who’s killing it at supporting you during this season of life, make sure he knows that you see what he’s doing and that you appreciate him.  Tell him you wouldn’t be able to do this without him. Let him learn his own way to do things (I know, women everywhere are grimacing). But, really, if you want help (and you’ll need help), you need to give him the space to figure it all out his way. Most, importantly, it’s a great way for dad and baby to forge their own bond.  Life with a brand new baby can be trying for both parties and, remember, it’s new for both of you.  Above all else, do your best to be gentle with each other.