The Sweet Birth of Baby R
When I first met Olivia, I knew I liked her. And not just because I’m a shameless cake lover and she’s a fabulous cake maker (although ‘maker’ doesn’t do her work justice, her cakes are works of art which is made even more incredible once you learn she’s completely self taught). No, it wasn’t our shared love of buttercream that drew me to her, rather, her confidence and her knowledge gained from, obviously, extensive research about birth. This wasn’t her first rodeo - or her second. Being her third birth, she knew what she wanted from the experience - and what she didn’t. She was aware of potential shortcomings in the system that she would birth her baby in and knew that adding a doula (me!) to her birth team would provide assurance that she had someone she could trust who help with advocacy throughout the process. A girl after my own heart!
Fast forward six months later and we’re in the birthing unit. Aided by a Pitocin drip, Olivia was in early labour – a synthetic form of oxytocin, the hormone that brings on contractions during birth. While there is no way to predict how someone will respond to Pitocin, a few hospital care providers said that it would be “quick” given that this was her third baby. Definitely not a far-fetched suggestion but still one that made me a little nervous! There’s a saying, among women who have had three or more babies, that the third birth is the “wild card.” First births are usually quite long. Second births are – again, typically - shorter, leaving one to assume that the third would subsequently follow the pattern and be even shorter than the second. The third birth earned it’s “wild card” designation because it doesn’t always follow that pattern (something I can attest to personally!). Putting the idea out into the universe that this was going to be “quick” seemed like a direct challenge to Murphy’s Law! If you ever hear someone give a timeline or prediction about how your birth will go, knock on wood - immediately (I suppose this will only apply to those of you who are a bit superstitious).
Now, on this February night, the room is dark and quiet - much like the rest of the unit at that hour. Even with the level of Pitocin in her system, encouraging baby’s exit, Olivia is resting through the waves - sometimes hardly even moving as one comes upon her. Something to be thankful for as it’s already been a very long day and a half for Olivia and her partner and they could, both, really use the rest. When I step out to get more water or juice (ahh, the freedoms of pre-Covid days), the only sounds that can be heard on the sleepy unit are the soft cries of brand new babies.
Sometime around dawn, after an epidural bought us a small grace period, Olivia sits up, suddenly, and said: “I need to push. I want Y to catch him. I want you [looking at me] to record him being born.” See what I mean about knowing what she wants?! The midwife looked over mid push and exclaimed “Whoa!” Baby’s head was just about to be born! The midwife hastily got gloves on Y while giving him quick instructions about how he was going to catch his baby being born. Olivia’s confidence in her ability to birth her baby was on clear display. She did not need guidance. She did not need directions. She did not need to be told when to push and for how long. Call it experience or call it intuition but, whatever you want to call it, Olivia knew what to do. This was Olivia’s show and the rest of us just lucky to be there. Two, gentle and controlled pushes later, baby boy was born into his daddy’s hands, in a quiet, calm, loving atmosphere. With skill of an experienced midwife or, at the very least, someone who had actually done this before, Yas softly placed their baby on Olivia’s chest before pumping both arms in the air and - very literally - jumping for joy from the excitement of the experience of catching his third child, and first son. It was so fast (really, the video I took is only three and a half minutes long!), it was like it was even over before it had started!
During Olivia’s pregnancy, the two of us regularly exchanged videos of beautiful, gentle births. Her baby’s first glimpse of this world was exactly as calm and peaceful as those videos that had inspired her. And his disposition in those first few hours really mirrored the environment. He was quiet, still, peaceful – his eyes slowly gazing from his mom’s face to his dad’s. It really was a beautiful way to end to her birth and a wonderful way for her baby to start his life. A really beautiful, powerful, peaceful birth made possible by a woman with the determination, strength and ferocity of a lioness; culminated by the moment of her partner’s sheer happiness at his role in the process. This sweet ending was really the icing on the Birth Day cake (see what I did there?).
If you want to spend some time fawning over beautiful desserts (I know that’s one of my favourite past-times), head over to Olivia’s Instagram page: @_bakedenvy. Just a warning though, be prepared to drool!