10 Sneaky Post-Birth Surprises

We’ve heard about engorgement. We know not to expect any sleep. But what about all those other things that pop up, post-birth, and catch us off guard? The things we weren’t expecting to see or experience because, assuming we already knew, no one remembered to warn us about it beforehand? Based on feedback from real postpartum moms, here’s a list of ten of some of the most common sneaky post-birth surprises.

After Birth Pains (Cramping)

It may have just birthed a baby but that doesn’t mean our uterus’ job is done. Now it’s time for it to shrink back to it’s “pre-pregnancy” size. It does this by contracting (and I know - you are probably done with that word right about now!). The good thing is that this contracting is not on the same level of the type of contracting experienced during labour. The no-so-good thing is that it can still be more intense than many of us were expecting or prepared for. Having your baby on the breast triggers the uterus to contract, so you might find the sensation more intense during nursing sessions. The should only last for a few days post-birth and it may be pretty mild for first-time moms and more intense for mamas on their subsequent babies. You can take Tylenol or Advil or use apply heat via heating pad or hot water bottle to help ease any discomfort - and don’t be afraid to revert back to using the breathwork that carried you through labour if you need it!

Bleeding

There are some things we are free to just leave behind in our birthing space. Bleeding, unfortunately, is not one of them. Regardless of if you’ve had a vaginal birth or belly birth, bleeding afterwards is totally normal and expected, yet something many moms were just not prepared for. The term used to describe post-birth bleeding is called lochia. Lochia is made up of blood, mucus, pieces of uterine lining and white blood cells with the objective being the restoration of the uterine lining. For the first two weeks, your bleeding might be something along the lines of a heavy period and, as time progresses, will eventually taper off (although this process can last upwards of six weeks postpartum). A good supply of adult diapers and overnight pads, without wings, will get you (and your pants) through the other side, relatively unscathed. Heads up: Soaking a pad within one hour is considered outside of the realm in terms of normal expectations and requires being seen by a medical professional.

Still Lookin’ Preggo

Don’t throw out those maternity clothes so fast, lady! We might have Duchess Kate and Meghan to thank for starting to normalize the post-birth baby bump but it still seems to be a surprise when it happens to us. Expect to come out of your pregnancy, and the first little while post-birth, still looking a little pregnant.

Sore Muscles

If your body feels like it just ran a marathon it’s because it kinda just did! By now you’ve learned that birth is very much a physical event. Your legs might be feeling sore from squatting or holding other positions during labour. Maybe you were holding tension in your shoulders or neck and are still feeling that tightness. Or maybe your back is bruised and tender from the strength of counterpressure you (hopefully) received. A great way to ease those sore muscles is with a lukewarm bath (check with your care provider first, though, to make sure a bath is appropriate with your specific recovery plan) or even a massage with a registered massage therapist.

Travelling… Organs?

As your uterus grew to accommodate your growing baby, your organs shifted up to provide space. Now with your baby on the outside and your uterus starting to shrink back to it’s pre-pregnancy size, it’s time for those other organs to migrate back to their original home. Some women aren’t at all aware that this is happening while some women really notice. The way this is usually described isn’t as painful just “weird.” And we can handle, “weird,” right?! We just birthed a baby!

Swollen Legs and Feet

Our pregnancy is over and, so, all those not-so-alluring pregnancy ailments should immediately disappear along with it, right? You’d think. But, surprise! While swollen extremities during pregnancy is expected, new swelling post-birth is typically a great big, unwanted, surprise. Caused by a build up of fluid during pregnancy, hormones and IV fluids during labour. Drink a lot of water, keep your feet elevated whenever possible, wear compression stockings, stay away from salt or see a registered massage therapist. The swelling won’t stick around for long though - so don’t stress out too much about it.

Hormone Crash

Somewhere in the first week post-birth, those high levels of hormones we maintained during our pregnancy take a huge nose dive. The result is a day (or two) of feeling extremely emotionally fragile. Fun, fun, fun. Just knowing that this hormone crash will occur is a great way to prepare for it - for birthing people and their partners. Partners, it’s your job to stay attune to your partner’s mood and how they seem to be feeling or coping. If you suspect she’s riding the roller-coaster of that post-birth hormone crash, remind her that is expected, that she’ll likely feel much better tomorrow and let this be a day where you spend most of the time holding the baby leaving her to really just rest.

Body Odour

A lot of post-birth moms find themselves doing the “sniff” test more than they ever have before. And, sadly, no - it’s probably not just in your head. An increase in sweat as your body temperature rises post-birth, hormones, breastfeeding (stronger scent to help your newborn find the boob) all contribute to a change in postpartum body odour. The good news? There’s no reason to be overly self-conscious about it. It’s probably just your nose that’s sensitive to it, not everyone else around you.

Hot Flashes

We’re used to feeling hawt during our pregnancy but kinda expect that to disappear once we’re no longer carrying an internal oven (your baby). Hot flashes over the first few days (or weeks) post-birth is a common side effect. The culprit behind these menopausal-esq heat waves are a combination of a sudden dip in estrogen, an increase in the hormone, prolactin, which helps with breastmilk production and also our overall body temperature rising slightly following the end of our pregnancy.

No More Unwanted Surprises

Now that you know some of the common post-birth surprises, be proactive and come up with a plan for how you’ll handle them before your baby comes - or at the very least, they won’t be a shock to you when they do occur. And one thing that won’t surprise you? How much you love and adore your sweet, new little baby and how all these “unexpected” surprises are totally worth it to have the gift of them!

A Shower, A Spontaneous Homebirth and a Whiskey Glass - Lily's Birth Story

Like we so often do, I knew that today was The Day before I actually knew that it was.  My inituition nudged me a little bit and I hesitated as I sent Derek to work but, ultimately, the sensations that I’d been feeling the last hour were so mild that I wasn’t even convinced, myself, that they were the real deal.  Carter, who was not even two yet, and I had walked Derek to the door to say bye – something not typically part of our routine.  It was unspoken but the prolonged good-bye was like we all knew that today was our last day as a unit of three.  We closed the door behind him and I looked down at Carter and thought: “well, whatever this day brings us, we’re going to do it together.”  And so, my little partner and I, we got busy with different activities and distractions to encourage whatever was happening inside to continue.

We pulled out our “birth balls.”  Mine, a large blue exercise ball and Carter’s an oversized ball from the dollar store that was actually just the right size for him to sit on.  With surprising amount of balance and coordination, for a two year old, we sat there him and I, on our birth balls.   Him doing an equal amount of bouncing up and down and toppling off and me rolling my hips from side-to-side and forward and back as Paw Patrol played in the background.

Once the birth balls had run their course (I was working with a two year old so, yeah, we move quick) we decided on a walk outside.  For some reason, I’ve always been really hell bent on going for a walk outside during labour.  I wasn’t able to make it through during my first birth but I thought I was still early enough this time that it was a plan that made great sense.  We made it exactly one driveway over before it became really clear that, while this was a great idea in theory, the execution was more than I could handle.  And you know what?  That’s okay.  I wouldn’t have known unless I tried!  Sensations were closer together now and I had to pause and focus during them.  If I had to focus, it was probably best to stay in the house as opposed to on a sidewalk, next to a busy street, with a two year old who could dart away from me at any moment.

Next we tried the bath.  It became exciting for Carter when I said we could go in Mama + Dada’s “big bath.”  Again, sharing a bathtub with a two year old during labour (and while removing Kinesiology tape) was really one of those things that truly sounded much better in theory than in actual execution. Hint: it was not at all the peaceful, relaxing experience I’d envisioned.  As Carter belly-flopped from one side of the bath to the other and I riiiiiiipped the Kinesiology tape from my belly, cursing whoever’s idea it was to apply it, I started to lose patience.  Not necessarily with the process but with the external factors at play (*ahem* yeah - the toddler).  It was time to bring in the reinforcements.

Once Derek was home and on Carter-duty, I went upstairs and ended up in our shower.  It was pure instinct that got in me in there but, ended up being a wise move, as this is where I would stay for the next four hours.  In between sensations, I was vaguely aware that our doula had arrived and also our midwife.  Although, I’m not sure how exactly a midwife ended up in our bathroom – homebirth wasn’t in the plan so we should have been meeting her at the hospital.  Whatever the reason, I’m thankful for it because, inevitably, her showing up there changed the course of the birth altogether!

After her initial check, she sat back on her heels and said: “If we’re going to the hospital, we need to go right now.”  I nodded my head to show I understood while simultaneously climbing back into the shower.  Even though hospital birth had been our plan – a decision made as a result of months of blood platelet issues – I couldn’t wrap my head around leaving.  Around getting out of the warm shower into the cold air, around having to lean over to dry myself off.  Around having to put clothes on.  Around having to sit in the car for the 25 minute drive. No. Hard no. All of it.

Derek stopped, in his tracks and slowly turned to look at me, nothing short of pure horror written all over his face, when I said: “I’m not going.”  Our doula and midwife met the same statement with little squeals of excitement at the promise of a coveted homebirth.  Derek knelt down beside me and the pleading to go to the hospital, like we’d planned, began (what can I say, the guy loves his plans).  Seeing he wasn’t making much headway with me, he switched tactics and tried to appeal to our doula.  I repeated what I’d told Derek: “this is working.  I’m staying here.”  She nodded in agreement because, this really was working. It didn’t make sense to shake things up and potentially derail the good thing I had going on.  She left the bathroom and I could hear her say to Derek, who was in full-blown crisis mode: “Derek, she says she’s staying.  Now pull yourself together, man, it’s your wife who’s in labour, not you!”  Just kidding, she didn’t really say that last part – although, pretty sure she was thinking it.

A short time passed where it was only my doula and I in the bathroom.  Me, still in the shower, towels on the floor to provide a bit of cushion for my hands and knees and my doula crouched beside the shower door.  I had a moment where I became panicky that I would have to get out at some point but my midwife just laughed and said I could stay wherever I wanted but she wouldn’t be joining me in the shower.  Hearing that allowed me to further relax and accept what was to come – and come it did.  Almost instantly after receiving permission to stay where I was, I began to feel pushy sensations.  Our doula left to go collect Derek who, in what I can only assume was a bid to ward off his nervous energy, had been kept busy by the midwife and doula – they had him finding old sheets and towels and then making up the spare bed (which was really quite comical because I was in the master bathroom with no intention of ever moving to the spare room down the hall and around the corner - they just knew that what he needed was to be kept occupied).

Once the two midwifes, doula and Derek had gathered in the bathroom, I started pushing.  Doula, right beside me.  First attending midwife behind her.  Second midwife perched on the countertop recording notes and Derek – my dear husband – sitting inside the bathtub, face completely ashen, rocking back and forth with head in hands.  I’m not even joking. It was… dramatic. I remember glancing up at him one time – one time – and thinking: “NOPE.  Weak link!”  And I went back to focusing my gaze on the bathroom tile floor – focusing on the mesmerizing hexagon print and wondering how I hadn’t noticed before (probably because I’d never spent that long staring at it… because why would you?!) how it looked just like a beehive (the ‘a ha’ moment, ya’ll!).

One push.  Two push.  I’m not sure if it looked like I needed someone or if her experience told her to just get in there with me but she said: “Well, if no one else is going in, I am.”  And the shower door opened and in came my doula, fully clothed.  She sat on the shower bench, somewhat out of the direct water stream but still, getting wet was unavoidable.  I was still on hands and knees.  But when she came in, I raised my upper body so that I could hold her hands.  As I raised my upper body, I took one knee off the ground and planted that foot on the ground, almost in a half-squat.  One easy push in that position and the midwife was right behind me, hands out.  She caught the baby, for just a millisecond, before placing it on the shower tile in between my legs, immediately backing off. For, maybe a full minute, it was just me and the baby.  My body was blocking it so no one else could get a look.  Baby’s eyes were open, staring back at me as I started at it.  We hadn’t found out what this baby was – boy or girl – although we all assumed it would be a boy. And full disclosure, we were just a *little* (read: a lot) desperate for a girl.

As I stared at the baby’s lower half, I began to feel perplexed.  I looked up, quizzically, at Derek, who was now trying to peer into the shower to get a glimpse.  I looked back down at the baby.  Looked back up at Derek.  Looked back down at the baby.  Glanced over my shoulder at the midwife, thinking that this baby’s testicles were either really small or that was just swollen lady parts.  But, it couldn’t be. Could it? The midwife didn’t seem concerned - like you’d expect a midwife to be if, say, it was a boy baby with missing or super small testicles.  So, I looked back down at the baby.  Until finally Derek said: “What is it?!”  Locking eyes with him I said, almost in a questioning tone due to my complete disbelief: “We have a…. girl?  WE HAVE A GIRL!”  Cheers erupted in the bathroom from all of us - midwives, doula, Derek. It was a moment. A really good one. Number one on my life’s highlight reel.

After the placenta was delivered, I stood up on shaky legs and showered everything off.  The baby was passed over to Derek for skin-to-skin.  I came out of the shower and slowly padded to Derek and the baby in the bed, noticing on my way out, an empty whiskey tumbler on the windowsill (later learning that there had been a lot going on behind the scenes upon my decision to stay home. The whiskey tumbler was the result of a pep-talk gone awry between Derek and his sister – exasperated at how her reassurances that everything would be okay were falling on deaf ears she lamented that maybe he should “just go have a drink and chill the ‘F’ out!”  I’m not sure she expected him to actually take her up on that idea but before coming back into the bathroom when I started pushing, that’s exactly what he did in a, fruitless, last-ditch effort to compose himself).  Would you even believe that the first thing Derek said to me when I got into the bed was “That was AMAZING!  It’s SO much better being at home!”  While we all laughed at the irony of that statement and how easily he’d been converted. Coming from the husband who needed more doula’ing, coaching and reassuring than most birthing people our midwives have ever supported (yes, you’re reading that right - ever supported), it certainly says a lot about the magic of homebirth!

Looking back at this birth, there are some takeaways that are worth pointing out, especially for those of you who are reading this as part of your own birth preperation:

• Don’t be afraid to try different activities during your birth. Be proactive and come up with a list of things to try, before you’re in labour. If something doesn’t work, at least you tried and you never know until you try what will work

• Good support is key. It truly can make all the difference. Choose your support wisely.

• Be flexible. Sure, we had “planned” to go to the hospital - but, sometimes (a lot of time!) birth changes our plans.

• When you find something that works, stay with it! We had no idea I would spend 4+ hours in our shower or that our hot water supply would last that long but thank gosh it did - because once I figured out that the shower was what was working for me, I was not getting out!

This birth resulted in our little girl being born.  But the trickle-down effect was about so much more.  It’s hard to put it into words but to have someone, essentially a stranger, trust you and your body’s ability more than maybe even you did prior to that moment, is an incredibly powerful thing and an amazing gift to give.  That’s what this midwife did for me.  In every sense, she just sat back and let me do my thing. She was a bystander which, in theory, is exactly how it should be.  Her confidence and trust in me facilitated – gave me the opportunity – to have this lifechanging experience, one that I hope more and more women are provided.

Last thoughts: Derek wanted me to “go easy” on him with this story. When we look back at this birth, we laugh a lot - the nerves, being kept busy with those really random jobs, the rocking in the corner, the shot of whiskey outside the bathroom door. It added an amazing element of comedic relief which, if you know me, you know I love. It worked in this situation because I didn’t need anything from him. I was conquering this birth thang all by myself! His reaction to my game day decision to homebirth is understandable. He’d had his mind set on things unfolding one way and, at that time, he felt safer in the hospital. He’s since become a seasoned homebirth partner, since we welcomed our third via homebirth a year after Lily’s birth - with, to the great surprise of that same team of midwives, Derek acting solely as my “doula.” And, you know what? He did great and I use his experience with homebirth often when discussing options with my birth clients.